Funny things in the news...

[ryansanta]

rofl balloon animals

[jmayesvaultmom]

Tie quite a few together and make a bungee???? Jump rope???? exercise bands???

[Lord of the Poles]

Teachers 'spiced up' school meals


Two teachers have been suspended from a primary school in the Indian state of Chhattisgarh for adding alcohol and drugs to meals, officials say.
So outrageous were the extras to school lunch, they would have been enough to make a rock star blush.

Officials say that one of the accused is the school's alcoholic headmaster, who wanted to liven up mealtimes.

The case is being investigated and a police report is to be lodged against the accused shortly.

Cannabis and liquor

A state-run primary school in the sleepy district of Mahasamund, 100 km (60 miles) from the state capital Raipur, is not the place most people would associate with a drink and drugs scandal.

But that is exactly what is alleged to have happened in the village of Chandimona.

Two of the school's three teachers have been suspended after 91 pupils aged between five to 11 years old were introduced to the perils of cannabis and liquor.

According to the investigating officials, both the accused teachers were addicted to alcohol, and decided to mix liquor in the food to make it more tasty.

The cannabis, officials say, was used to expedite the cooking of pulses. They say that the drug no doubt raised a few pulses too.

Officials say the extras were being added to food for "some time," but the incident only came to light when the villagers complained on Saturday to the district magistrate, who was on an official tour of the village.

It was found that liquor was added to (the water) to prepare rice and 'bhang' to dal (a spicy lentil dish) to make it tasty

Manish Kumar Tyagi, District Collector of Mahasamund

The magistrate ordered an immediate inquiry.

In an interview with BBC Hindi Online after the investigation, Sub-Divisional Magistrate Ashok Srivastava said the headmaster and another teacher were the principal culprits.

"During investigations, we found out that they mixed bhang capsules (cannabis) in front of the children, telling them that this is being used to cook the pulses quickly.

"Both the teachers were alcohol addicts, and it was found on 19 July that they had also mixed liquor in large quantities into the rice to make it more tasty.

"Some small children ate that food, which was later thrown away because of the smell of alcohol," he said.

None of the accused teachers was available for comment.

[jmayesvaultmom]

Hmmmm..... I am just a little bit away from the lunchroom..... might make my afternoon a bit more ... relaxed..... hahaha


anyway...

Driver Beaten Up for Observing Speed Limit

BERLIN (July 30) - A German truck driver beat up a motorist he believed was driving too slowly in a case of 'road rage' in a country famous for having no limits on stretches of its motorways.

The trucker got in a fight with a car driver who had been slowing him down by observing a 30 km-an-hour (18 mph) speed limit in a built-up area.

Police in the western town of Bochum said the truck driver told them he felt provoked by the motorist "because he was actually driving 30 kph in a 30 kph area." The trucker faces an investigation and may lose his driving license.

[jmayesvaultmom]

Crews Use Cow Poop to Fight Manure Blaze

FERNDALE, Wash. (July 28) - Talk about fighting fire with fire. Crews fighting a smoky, stinky blaze in the dried crust of a 3-acre manure lagoon on a dairy farm Wednesday were trying to smother the flames with more of the same - a blanket of wet cow poop.

There was a risk the wet manure could dry in the sun and provide more fuel for the smoldering fire, but desperate times call for desperate measures, said Assistant Fire Chief Larry Hoffman with Whatcom County Fire District No. 7.

Hoffman has received an earful of complaints about the smoke and odor as the fire burned for a fourth day on the farm outside Ferndale, about 100 miles north of Seattle.

"We're not the most popular department in town," he said. "It's offensive, the smell is. It stinks."

How bad?

"In your worst nightmare, if you can imagine burning manure combined with a brush fire - this sort of woody undertone."

The fire "changes the smell of the manure, intensifies it.

I go home at night and I'm not allowed in the house until I hose off," he said.

"My projection is it will be out today or I'm going on a long vacation," Hoffman joked. "Believe me, if I could put this out and alleviate the headache of having to handle 20 calls an hour I would."

The cause of the fire was not known. It started in brush growing on the dry 3- to 14-foot crust of manure, wood chips and barn shavings on the surface of the 24-foot-deep lagoon. About 90 percent of the crust had burned away by Wednesday, he said.

"We're investigating the possibility it was an errant cigarette butt or it could be spontaneous combustion from composting," Hoffman said, describing the lagoon as "basically a big compost pile."

"I've been doing this for 20 years and never dealt with anything like this. ... It's not quite as simple as a normal brush fire. We're expending resources we didn't even know existed to try to put this out."

Up to 18 firefighters at a time have been working on the blase. Helping somewhat were temperatures in the mid-70s, down from record weekend highs in the mid-80s, and cloudy skies.

A fire break had been dug around the pond, so the flames "can't go anywhere" on the 1,200-acre, 700-head dairy farm, Hoffman said.

All jokes aside, it's hazardous work for fire crews, he said.

"Our hoses only go so far. We can't go out on it." Below the crust of varying depths, "It's like quicksand. If they went down we'd never find them."

After working with water and foam, firefighters Tuesday began spraying the wet manure, which squelched flames on the leading edge of the fire.

"We're in the process now of laying another blanket of wet manure on top of it to smother out the fire," Hoffman said.

The battle has required construction of several roads to enable fire trucks to reach the lagoon and accommodate a big excavator, all paid for by the farm's owners.

Hoffman declined to identify the owners.

"They're being extremely cooperative," he said. "They are doing absolutely everything that I have asked them to do ... putting their people on it and expending resources and spending money. I'm trying to keep it on that level ... and not asking them to deal with the media."

There could be health concerns for people with breathing difficulties, though it helps that the fire is limited to organic material, Hoffman said.

Most complaints to the Northwest Air Pollution Authority in Mount Vernon, which monitors pollution concerns in Skagit and Whatcom counties, have been about the smoke, staff engineer Annie Naismith said.

"It's not causing any particular concern above what you would have with a grass fire," she said.

The authority had received 18 complaints, five of them Wednesday morning.


07/28/04 22:18 EDT

[jhesch]

where do you find all these random news articles?

[jmayesvaultmom]

AOL has a window "Top News"...at the bottom there is a section labeled "Weird, Wild, Way Out There News"

[Lord of the Poles]

a lot of sites have areas dedicated to crazy news... collegehumor.com does

[Scott Go Pre]

a lot of sites have areas dedicated to crazy news... collegehumor.com does

ebaumsworld.com does too, but ebaumsworld is much better!

[rainbowgirl28]

Condom manufacturer Durex has donated 130,000 condoms and 30,000 doses of lubricant to the Olympic Village pharmacy for the use of athletes and officials in Athens. During the Sydney Games, each competing athlete was given 51 condoms upon arrival, but 20,000 more had to be shipped in when supplies ran low. Evidently, the security concerns of athletes run to different forms of protection.


Must be some different events in the Olympics that I didn't know about!!

Here's a whole article about it http://sport.guardian.co.uk/athens2004/ ... 18,00.html

[jmayesvaultmom]

DUI Defendant Comes to Court Drunk

UNIONTOWN, Pa. (Aug. 4) - Something smelled rotten when Michael Hanczyk showed up in court to fight a drunken driving charge. Authorities say it was the booze on his breath.

A judge stopped a hearing Tuesday and ordered the 42-year-old Hanczyk to take a field sobriety test after he and others said they smelled alcohol on Hanczyk's breath.

"Everyone smelled him," said district attorney Nancy Vernon.

A breath test indicated that Hanczyk had a blood alcohol content of 0.296 percent, more than three times the state's legal limit, Vernon said.

Fayette County Judge John Wagner Jr. threatened to put Hanczyk in jail for 30 days for contempt of court, but then said he would wait for a blood test. Hanczyk was taken to a hospital and the hearing was rescheduled.

Hanczyk's attorney, Daniel Hargrove, did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment late Tuesday.

Hanczyk was charged with drunken driving after a July 8, 2003, accident in Henry Clay Township, near the West Virginia border.

Police said Hanczyk suddenly stopped his car, setting off a chain-reaction crash with two other vehicles. After two troopers reported smelling alcohol on Hanczyk, he refused to take a field sobriety test but later agreed to take a blood test, which indicated he was drunk, authorities said.

But Hargrove sought to have the charge dismissed, saying police didn't have probable cause to arrest Hanczyk because he was driving safely.


08/04/04 08:35 EDT

[jmayesvaultmom]

Dutch Consider Ban on Toe-Licking
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Aug. 6) - Toe-licking could become a criminal offense in the Netherlands after a man who licked the toes of several women was released by police without charges.

The toe-licker, whose name was not released, was arrested in Rotterdam earlier this week after a woman who had been sunbathing said he unexpectedly licked her bare foot.

Other women had also complained, and the 35-year-old man has reportedly been pursuing his fetish for years, but prosecutors in Rotterdam said they are powerless to stop him.

"A lick over the foot doesn't qualify as a crime: there has to be some kind of objective sex act committed," said prosecution spokesman Cees van Spierenburg in the Rotterdam Daily newspaper. "That's the way the law is."

Lawmakers Peter van Heemst and Aleid Wolfsen, members of the leading opposition Labor Party, asked Justice Minister Piet Hein Donner in a formal complaint to change the law.

"How can you explain that we can prosecute someone for throwing a cigarette butt or soda can on the ground, but not for this kind of misbehavior?" the men wrote.


08/06/04 10:57 EDT