Funny things in the news...

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jmayesvaultmom
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Funny things in the news...

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:14 am

Four Inmates Flee Jail, Return With Beer

ROGERSVILLE, Tennessee (July 20) - With their cell doors accidentally left unlocked, four county jail inmates escaped only to return the same night - with beer.

The Hawkins County Jail inmates, who bought four cases of beer before returning to the jail, were charged Monday with escape and introduction of intoxicants into a penal institution, the Kingsport Times-News newspaper reported Tuesday.

"I guess they thought if they came back they wouldn't be charged with escape, but they were wrong," Sheriff Warren Rimer said.

Ridgy Dean Coleman, Jimmy Joe Stapleton, David Wayne Blizzard and David Allen Hopkins escaped Thursday night when their cell block doors were unlocked and a faulty control panel failed to alert jailers, Rimer said.

Two of the inmates walked out through a fire exit, left the door propped open with a small Bible and made a hole in the exercise yard fence. They walked to a nearby market and bought the beer.

The inmates did not raise alarm at the store because they were wearing street clothes borrowed from other prisoners. The crowded jail doesn't have enough orange jumpsuits for all of its inmates.

The sheriff pointed out that all 36 inmates on the cell block might have tried to escaped while the doors were unlocked.

"At least they came back," he said. :D
That's Jodie!!

A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....

Habakkuk 3:19
The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

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Snake

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Sun Jul 25, 2004 8:17 am

Giant Python Caught on Florida Street

VERO BEACH, Fla. (July 23) - A 16-foot-long Burmese python was captured on a city street after a passing motorist spotted about three feet of it hanging over a curb and called police.

The brown-and-yellow snake was wrestled into a body bag and taken to the home of Vero Beach Animal Control Officer Bruce Dangerfield.

"This is a very irresponsible owner to let something loose like this," he said Thursday of the late Wednesday capture. "Either it escaped - all snakes are escape artists - or someone let it loose."

Dangerfield said he has picked up dozens of loose Burmese pythons and boa constrictors over the years, but this was the biggest.

Dangerfield said the responsibilities that come with owning giant reptile become too much for some people. Within a few years, a 20-inch hatchling bought for $100 at a pet store will become a rabbit-munching giant.

Dangerfield told the Press Journal of Vero Beach that he wanted to publicize the danger snakes pose to other pets, people, and native wildlife when they get loose.

"Some people should just watch Animal Channel or something, not own one," he said.

The snake will likely be euthanized if its owner doesn't come forward, said Ilke Daniel of the Humane Society.

"There is such overpopulation, no zoo wants them," she said.


07/23/04 08:02 EDT
That's Jodie!!



A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....



Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

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Unread postby Oldcoach » Mon Jul 26, 2004 12:01 pm

I routinely travel to Rogersville, TN for company business, I knew the place was a little off the beaten path but that story is ridiculous. Wait till I jab the guys down there about the quality of inmates they have.

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Unread postby das_1971 » Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:16 am

Sounds like a textbook SNAFU to me....
Ow

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Snail Mail

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:49 pm

Postcard Sent 37 Years Ago Arrives at Woman's House

SEELYVILLE, Pa. (July 28) - Talk about snail mail: A woman vacationing in New Jersey 37 years ago popped a postcard into the mail and it just arrived at her mother's house in Pennsylvania.

Dorothy Orth, of Seelyville in northeastern Pennsylvania, baffled her daughter when she called Saturday to thank her for the card.

"What card?" Janet Richards, of Port Jervis, N.Y., asked.

When her mother said it was from Asbury Park, N.J., she remembered.

"I sent that postcard in August 1967, when my husband, Larry, and I were on our fifth wedding anniversary," she said. Orth received it July 17, almost 37 years later.

In addition to the 4-cent stamp a 23-cent stamp was affixed, and the 18431 zip code was penciled in. The card was postmarked Aug. 19, 1967, at the Asbury Park post office, and July 14, 2004, in New York City's Brooklyn borough.

"A lot of credit goes to the Brooklyn post office and whoever got the postcard to me," Orth said.

That was Ernesto Perry, of the U.S. Post Office undelivered mail unit in Brooklyn.

The postcard was behind a machine that was recently moved, Perry said. He said he added the zip code and the 23 cent stamp and sent it on its way.

"We always try to send back mail whenever possible, it doesn't matter how long it has been lost or misplaced," he said.


07/28/04 09:38 EDT
That's Jodie!!



A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....



Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

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Sticky

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 1:51 pm

Woman Using Liquid Bandage Gets Stuck

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. (July 21) - When Joyce Stewart sits down to her daily cup of coffee, she likely won't attempt first aid on herself again. On Monday morning, Stewart used Minnesota-based 3M's liquid bandage to treat a crack on her heel and within minutes her foot was glued to the floor. It took three paramedics over an hour and a bottle of baby oil to free her.

Stewart, 59, of Martinsburg had positioned her left foot so that her heel was off of the floor and applied the liquid to the back of her foot. Without realizing, the liquid had run from the back to the ball of her foot before she placed her foot flat on the floor again.

Soon after, her grandson came in from and asked for pancakes. When Stewart tried to get up and move to the kitchen, she couldn't.

"I said, 'Oh my gosh, I'm stuck,"' Stewart said.

Stewart said that her relatives first thought she was joking. With a knife, she tried to loosen the linoleum's grasp on her foot. But after skin began to pull away and her foot started to bleed, Stewart said she realized it was no laughing matter.

She sought help from her daughter, who lives next door. When family members failed to solve the problem, they called 911.

Though the package states that the product runs easily and sets quickly while warning against getting the product on furniture, counters or clothes, it says nothing about warning against the gluing of body parts.

"They should have that on there," Stewart said.

Representatives from 3M have offered to pay for her medical expenses, Stewart said. She is expected to make a full recovery, but it may take her pride a bit longer to heal.

"I was embarrassed," she said. "I was still in my robe."

A company spokeswoman reached Wednesday morning in Minnesota did not have an immediate comment.

Information from: The Journal, http://journal-news.net


07/21/04 23:29 EDT
That's Jodie!!



A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....



Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

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jmayesvaultmom
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!!!!!! What ?????

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 4:52 pm

Condom manufacturer Durex has donated 130,000 condoms and 30,000 doses of lubricant to the Olympic Village pharmacy for the use of athletes and officials in Athens. During the Sydney Games, each competing athlete was given 51 condoms upon arrival, but 20,000 more had to be shipped in when supplies ran low. Evidently, the security concerns of athletes run to different forms of protection.
:dazed:

Must be some different events in the Olympics that I didn't know about!! :eek: :o
That's Jodie!!



A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....



Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

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Re: !!!!!! What ?????

Unread postby Peepers PV » Wed Jul 28, 2004 5:59 pm

jmayesvaultmom wrote:During the Sydney Games, each competing athlete was given 51 condoms upon arrival, but 20,000 more had to be shipped in when supplies ran low.


HA HA HA

wow, so does anyone know how long athletes actually stay in the village?
"look, you either join the team and go to practice or do drugs- that's just how it is! it's track or crack!" - mikey

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Olympics

Unread postby jmayesvaultmom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:07 pm

Think about it... 51 condoms.... if the olympics last 17 days... that is using 3 per day..... wonder how they fit in competing around their "extracurricular" activities!!! :dazed:
That's Jodie!!



A scripture that makes me think of all you girls and guys pole vaulting....



Habakkuk 3:19

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

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Unread postby vaultmd » Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:35 pm

Maybe someone is good at making balloon animals.

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Unread postby Peepers PV » Wed Jul 28, 2004 9:03 pm

vaultmd wrote:Maybe someone is good at making balloon animals.


nice :yes:
"look, you either join the team and go to practice or do drugs- that's just how it is! it's track or crack!" - mikey

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Unread postby Lord of the Poles » Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:09 pm

and who knows how many will fling across the room or break while they try to put one on!
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