An Angry Vaulter

[ArcadiaPV]

For the past two years I've been coaching a very highly talented , hard working vaulter. He's only 15 but for the most part has the mentality of a much older athlete. Starting this year, when he gets frustrated in workouts or in the vault he goes into a silent rage. He refuses to talk to any of his friends, barely acknowledges me and eventually leaves.

His father is away year round and his mother is always working. The kid isn't getting a whole lot of love at home. As a coach I'm at a loss of what to do. I've spoken with him a few times , and he has been responsive, but its almost like a dr.jekel, mr. hyde deal. Its scary to see the transformation. The family has little money so im not sure if therapy is an option or if the athlete would even accept to go.

Any help would be gratefully appreciated.

[drcurran]

Hey just my .02 but your best bet might be his guidance counselor at school. I know some are real good and some are just taking up space. Or maybe one of his teachers he is close to. Good luck!

Dan

[smokinvaulter1]

I know it maybe hard to do, but take this kid under your wing be a mentor, encourage him, make him your protege. I think kids like this need extra special support. You maybe just what this kids needs. I have done this in the past and got a troubled kid on the straght and narrow and in to college. He was the first in his family to goto college and it was all for the love of Pole vaulting. Be an example or father figure he will never forget you and believe me he will come thank you for what you did years down the road.

[Robert schmitt]

I have a kid that had similar attitude problems parents divorced, niether parent there for him. His first meet his sophmore year he NH'd on his last attempt he blew through because he started to do things right. I started to head over to congradulate him on doing things better and a few of the others who have played football and wrestled with him grabbed me and told me not to even go over by him. He was litterally beat red in the face and breathing like a rabid dog. I went over anyway, and while it didn't go over great it set a foundation that we have built on and he is one of the hardest working guys I have (unfortunatly also the slowest- slower than one of my girls). We spent a lot of his sophmaore year talking about how to channel that anger in positive ways, and when it actually hurts him. He has change 180 degrees- I got him connected with a former vaulters dad who is a was comanding officer in the navy. Now he is going to anapollis after next year and hoping to vault there too.

[AVC Coach]

There aren't really any guarantees in these situations. All of the above advice is exactly what you need to do. It will be up to the kid as to whether or not you can help him. I've succeeded with some and with others have failed. The difference, looking back, was that the ones who pulled through were extremely dedicated to the vault. It was their top priority. Good luck with your athlete. Give him all you can and hope he uses the opportunity.

[ArcadiaPV]

Happy ending to this story so far. Thanks for all the advice. I had a lot of talks with him about controlling emotions and the dangers of anger which seemed to help a bit. More than that I was adjusting his take-off which was very frustrating for a few months. He was used to taking off under, and when he took off "on" he felt like he couldn't swing up. He is used to learning things in athletics instantly, so he couldn't understand what was wrong. Once I explained to him that adjusting the take-off is one of the more difficult things in athletics he calmed down a lot. It's been about a month since his last meltdown and last weekend he double PRed. California vaulters watch out!

[ArcadiaPV]

So sadly his anger problem has gotten much worse. About three weeks ago he picked a fight with his older brother and ended up in a cast. He has recovered since then but his anger problem is even worse. At our meet on wednesday he had a meltdown over his jump not feeling perfect, even though there was really nothing wrong with it.

I think I may have to let the kid go. Since he his my best jumper I don't want the younger kids to think this is an acceptable way to behave. Incredibly frustrating, sad situation. Pole vault and anger problems do not go well together. Once again, any advice is appreciated.

[KirkB]

My advice ... for what it's worth ... with my limited understanding of the situation ... is to try to be more of a coach and less of a parent to him, by trying to get a counselor of some sort to work with him on the anger management issue. Even if his parents can't afford it, there should be school or local public health resources that are free or low cost (I don't know).

I know this is hard, but if you try to do too many things for him, he may react negatively towards you (same as for parents who try to help their kids, but their anger turns to anger at their parents). You need to focus on COACHING him, and you can't really do that effectively unless he improves his mental situation.

Just like fixing a physical flaw in the vault at its SOURCE, his mental issues need to be fixed FIRST. And for all your knowledge as a coach ... including "psychology" (but not "psychiatry") ... it's probably beyond your training or skill set as a coach to talk him thru his serious mental issues (which is why you're asking for our help). Quite frankly, none of us are counselors either (I don't think).

I hope you don't give up on him. He needs you. Just try to find him the mental health resources that he needs. In the meantime, let him keep vaulting. He sounds like he might "get into mischief" or "make some bad choices in life" if he doesn't focus his time and energy on vaulting. He needs you to keep his life in balance.

I hope he can get the help he needs.

Kirk